Europeans Pity the U.S.

And fear and sometimes hate us.

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I know the look. I’ve seen it before. Knitted eyebrows. Lips pressed together. Subtle nods.

Pity.

When people here in France find out my wife and me are from the U.S., they don’t ask right away, but if the opportunity arises in conversation, they’ll probe.

They may ask us why we’re here and what our plans are. We’ll tell them that we’re here for my wife’s graduate program.

“How long is that?”

“A six-month academic program followed by a six-month practicum.”

“So, you go back after that?”

“That’s the plan, though with the way things are going back home, who knows?” we might joke.

“It’s crazy what’s happening,” they’ll say, activating the pity face.

The floodgates open. Our litany of grievances pours out of us.

Sometimes, they try to relate to the situation in the U.S.

“Yeah, we’ve seen a rise in xenophobia here too,” but they’ll quickly qualify the comparison lest they offend us. “Nothing compared to what’s going on over there, though, of course.”

That’s when it dawned on me. They’re relating to the U.S. the way I used to relate to refugees from unstable countries: With pity.

One person I met at a get-together in Paris, a Tunisian-Norwegian woman who was considering pursuing a graduate degree at Brown University, asked me if it was safe to go to the U.S.

“Is it as bad as they say in the news?”

I don’t blame her for asking. The international media coverage of the U.S. is grim. Plus, more than a dozen countries have issued travel advisories for the U.S., including longtime allies that once drove the bulk of U.S. tourism, like Australia, Canada, France, Germany and the U.K.

I didn’t want to scare her, but I didn’t want to mislead her either. I tried to be as balanced as I could.

“There’s been an escalation in immigration enforcement and politically motivated detention and intimidation, but the U.S. is probably still safe for most tourist visitors. There are certain groups of people who are more vulnerable to targeting, like migrants from Latin America, and those who are outspoken in their criticism of this administration.”

That seemed to allay her concerns somewhat. Two weeks later, the Brown University shooting took place.

---

My wife’s friend, a woman who fled Belarus for Sweden, came to visit us in Versailles. We chatted about a lot of things, perfumery (what my wife is studying), gaming (our guest works in the industry, and I’m an avid gamer), but eventually we made our way to politics.

Eventually, she told us about her decision to leave Belarus. She described the descent into authoritarianism once Aleksandr Lukashenko, the first and only president of Belarus, assumed power.

She explained how it didn’t happen all at once, how media coverage morphed into a homogenous paste, how protests were banned and political opponents were targeted—you know, standard authoritarian fare.

I was unnerved by how familiar it sounded, which I divulged to her, before quickly adding, “Of course, I know it’s nothing like Belarus.”

She said, “No, it is. That’s how it starts. I see the similarities.”

---

Some in the U.S. claim the world respects the U.S. now more than ever, but in my experience living abroad, it doesn’t. Here, in Europe, they not only pity us; they’re scared of us. They’re afraid something might happen to them if they go to the U.S.

That’s why U.S. tourism saw a sharp downtick last year that shows no signs of rebounding and why former allies are warning their citizens about traveling to the U.S. right now. The U.S. is proving to be increasingly hostile toward people from other countries, and the world has noticed.

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